More like your test Splitting hair over your child's maths paper? You might be freaking them out. Counsellor Mansi Hasan tells you how to be the guiding light, without losing your sleep
Losing sleep? Feeling tensed at odd hours? And are you over 40? If the answer to all the questions is yes, then you are displaying the symptoms of a stressed out parent of a student appearing for HSC or SSC examinations.
While some amount of anxiety is understandable, you certainly need not behave as if board exams are the be-all and end-all your child's existence. Instead, give your kid all the support needed at this hour, and simply let him/her be.
Get out of the parent-trap
Avoid comparisons
Sometimes, parents unwittingly harm their child's ego by needlessly comparing him/her with other students or siblings. In the run-up to the exams, when a student is already under pressure, such comparisons are the last thing he/she needs. It will build up feelings of competition and fear that he/ she may not be able to live up to it. Also, never harp on previous failures or results.
Be concerned, but don't interfere
There is a thin line between being overtly concerned and interference.While you have every right to keep tabs on your child's schedule, don't be overtly critical or question his/her every move.Your child has done his homework throughout the year; he/she probably knows what's the best course of action. Be affectionate, not over-attentive. A hug in private just works fine. Maintain a peaceful atmosphere at home
This is not the time to discuss or argue over family problems. Do not mix academic issues with family conflicts.
Spend some light moments with your child. It could be sitting at the dinner table and sharing some jokes with the family. Be a good listener.
 Hear Warning Bells
Some students, during exams and even after, get so stressed that they can even turn suicidal. And these are not necessarily kids who have performed poorly and fear low grades. Even academically bright students tend to display suicidal tendencies when they can't handle the expectations from them. As a parent, be on guard if:
• Your child suddenly becomes withdrawn and moody before exams
• He/ she either starts eating too much or too little
• Is unable to interact with friends, teachers and neighbours
• Insists on spending time alone
• Displays signs of self-injurious behaviour. (Some kids even fake illnesses to avoid exams)
If you find any symptoms, address them immediately either by taking your child to a counsellor or having a heart-to-heart talk with him/her.
Get Practical
Time management
While it is advisable to let the child follow his/her routine, you can assist in setting up a time-table. Prioritise responsibilities and engagements by preparing "to do" lists in the order of importance. Set goals and deadlines with enough time for play and rest. Understand whether your child is a "morning person" or if he/ she studies best at night and prepare a schedule accordingly.
Diet matters
Perhaps the most important part of any exam preparation, it is also the one that often gets most ignored. Sure, you would want to prepare your child's favourite foods, but try to avoid stuff like heavy, ghee-laden halwas, mithai, biryani etc that will make your kid lethargic. Instead ensure that your child:
• Takes small meals at short breaks, instead of gulping food at one go.
• Avoids tea or coffee. Caffeine increases anxiety
• Has more juices, fruits and liquid diet.
• Has food containing high levels of Vitamin B, like green vegetables. They are known to lower anxiety and depression. In fact, they work better than memory pills.
Don't forget the basics
While your child may be too involved in memorising his maths formulas, history dates and grammar rules, it is your responsibility to ensure that he/she doesn't forget the essential stuff - like carrying enough pens and pencils, or carrying the hall ticket and ID-card to the exam centre!
 Boards? Bring them on
Hiral Doshi feels the pressure as D-day approaches. Confident of her preparations, she doesn't want to let her parents down. "They have motivated and helped me a lot in every way. They expect me to do well and score over 90 per cent, I will try my best to fulfil those expectations," she says. The 16-year-old relaxes by watching TV and listening to music, and taking frequent breaks, but under mother Smita's watchful gaze.
"The competition is just too much these days," says Smita. "You have to constantly motivate your children. Earlier I tried to control Hiral's TV habits, but realised it was affecting her mood. I now allow her to watch her favourite soaps. Though we are concerned about grades, as parents we have given her the freedom to follow a career of her choice. After all, there are many options these days."  JOIN NOW For health consious ppl Please visit
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