©Dil Maange More© Keep safe distance

Keep safe distance
 
Right to be

First things first, explain to your children that no one has a right to touch them in a way that appears strange and unusual. Each one of us has a right to keep certain parts of our body 'private'. Tell them that if anyone ever touches them inappropriately,  they should tell that person to stop it and then tell you about it, even if the former is a close relative, neighbour or a teacher.

Varied people

It is necessary to tell children that while most people are good and do not harm kids, there are also those who are 'sick' and 'selfish' and could cause harm.

Not all's good or bad

Avoid using the conventional 'good touch-bad touch' explanation as young children tend to think of a 'bad touch' as one that causes physical pain or involves hitting. Many types of sexual contact are not painful, do not cause injury, and may even 'feel good' to the child. Instead, tell your child exactly what an 'OK' touch might be — a pat on the back, a rub on the head, a high five etc. Ask your child to name some touches and let them know whether they are fine or not.

No secrets

Paedophiles often tell the child that whatever happened between them is a 'secret' that they aren't supposed to share with anyone. Most of them use this as a tactic to stay out of trouble. Hence, ask your kids to inform you if any adult asks them to keep a 'secret'.

Instinct call

Question the motive of any adult — even a family member — who seems highly interested in your child and wants to spend a lot of time alone with them. Rely heavily on your instincts.

No kidding

Fun and games lure is a very common decoy, where a seemingly innocent game leads to intimate body contact. Games might include playing darkroom, hiding under a cover, playing doctor-doctor, hiding the coin, etc. Be on your guard when an adult consistently singles out a child for a playmate.

Keep a tab

Tell your children not to accept gifts, eatables, and drinks from strangers and to inform you if such an offer has been made. Be alert to new toys, gadgets or money you cannot account for.
 
When help turns ugly

One of the very compelling lures used by a molester is asking the child for 'help'. The request can include asking for directions, or assistance in carrying packages to the car or house. Tell your child not to entertain such requests.

Credential check

Getting your child enrolled at a particular hobby class and forgetting about it is not done. Accompany your child on his/her talent pursuits and check the credentials of 'talent scouts'. If possible, ask other parents whose child is also enrolled at that class about their experiences.

Know the signs

If your child tells you that he/she has been sexually abused, believe him/her. In most cases, kids do not lie about abuse. He/she may report it saying, 'I don't like to be alone with him/her', or 'He/she fools around with me and I don't like it'. Remember that the victims of these crimes are most of the time not responsible for what happened to them. Tell your kids you will believe and protect them if they tell you about the abuse and not blame or be angry with them for doing so.

Family work

Work on resolving conflicts, strains and other dysfunctions within the family. Children from dysfunctional families are easy targets for seduction since they are often crave attention

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